Saturday, May 06, 2006

Guest Masturbation

I have a guest from out-of-town now, and a comment in the last post made me wonder: what is the guest etiquette when it comes to masturbation? Would you feel like you were doing something wrong masturbating in someone else's house while you stay with them? Does it depend on how long a stay it is?


Blogger Anna said...

You know that your mom reads this, don't you?

12:17 AM  
Blogger Michael Farris said...

I applaud your subtlety, what an ingenuous way to tell a house guest to knock it off already.

verfication word: nzepipo which means masturbate in Swahili (or should).

1:15 PM  
Blogger XWL said...

Were it a couple staying with you would you be more or less disposed to accepting sexual activity of guests?

Also, does gender and orientation change your opinion?

Finally, The Advice Goddess would seem like the go to gal for this sort of question of etiquette.

(My personal view of guests 'abusing' themselves, so long as they leave no evidence and do so in a manner where it would be easy to ignore, no harm done. One room apartment, with thin walls, no way, large home with plenty of personal space, live and let live. Demanding to use the living room TV or your PC to watch porn, out of the question.)

7:56 PM  
Blogger Christopher Althouse said...

xwl: It seems like a couple would be more intrusive, not less. And no, in answer to your second question.

9:29 PM  
Blogger Christopher Althouse said...

Just for the record, I wasn't actually trying to send a message to my house guest (or "apartment guest," rather). It was a rather awkward moment when he started reading my blog mid-trip and came across that post.

6:37 AM  
Blogger Wickedpinto said...

I'm not a chronic masturbator. I was just a very normal kid a rich kids house, and it was obvious I didn't fit in. I was a carnival oddity to them.

I don't like "guests" fighting the demon, if a friend crashes for a weekend or week, then he can find a subtle environment in which to shake the dice. If my "guest" is more of a short term tenent then I would have to endure any potential intrusion while he was girding the little warrior for battle, but couples are outright irritating. a weekend and an existing couple I can endure it, and in fact use it as a source of comedy at innappropriate moments.

But Xwl hit on the basics, in general the guest could be courteous enough to hide the fact that he is shaking hands with the stranger, and what the host doesn't know, won't give him dirty shivers.

Question? if you were to catch your guest torturing his prisoner would you get almost the sense that you were running a self serve brothel or some such?

4:33 PM  
Blogger Christopher Althouse said...

wickedpinto: A self-service brothel? Is that where you leave money for yourself on the counter?

2:31 PM  
Blogger Meade said...

The etiquette of sex (and that includes masturbation) is not unlike the etiquette of food: Unless it's a meal all are sharing... no eating in front of others, and that includes making slurping, burping, and other sounds of digestive ecstasy from any audible distance or space. Also, if you are a house guest for more than two days, it's considered polite to help with the dishes and/or buy a few groceries. Unless, of course, your host is on some sort of religious fasting quest of some kind. Then it's best just to write a sincere thankyou note that doesn't mention how hungry you became while visiting your ascetic friend. And then... quietly continue on with your journey.

2:36 PM  
Blogger Christopher Althouse said...

meade: I'm not sure I understand how helping out with the dishes works as an analogy in this case. Perhaps your guests help take care of the household sexual needs?

2:43 PM  
Blogger Wickedpinto said...

meade: I'm not sure I understand how helping out with the dishes works as an analogy in this case. Perhaps your guests help take care of the household sexual needs?

Another friggen HILLARIOUS visual. I will skip the story, but I will deliver the punchline. there was one particular occasion where I was assisted with the post coital clean up and there were two brilliant lines spoken "tastes like man" and "thanks I made it myself."

I can't believe I shared that.

5:59 PM  

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