7-year-old boy swims from Alcatraz to San Francisco

This little boy proves that the prisoners who stayed on the island, looking longingly at San Francisco, were really just cowards. What about the sharks, though? Are they not there anymore? When I visited Alcatraz, they couldn't stop talking about sharks.

Now, if I were suddenly a prisoner of Alcatraz, I could never even attempt to leave, since I can barely swim. Like M. Night Shyamalan and Sandra Bullock, I almost drowned as a child--at about the age of the boy who just swam from Alcatraz to San Francisco. You can add water to my list of phobias I've discussed here, along with dogs. As you can imagine, I find this to be just about the scariest movie I've ever seen.

Speaking of drownings, take a look at this 1922 gravestone memorializing a 23-year-old drowning victim:















(Image from The Gargoyles and Grotesques of Tuscany)

I believe those might actually be the bones of the victim used in the formation of the gravestone. Please, if I ever drown, do not use my bones to artistically illustrate how I died. In fact, don't use my bones to portray my death under any circumstances. Put them in the ground, where they belong.