Thursday, May 11, 2006

"I'm a failure"

Shortly after my post about this very subject, and shortly after Madonna makes the mistake of mentioning on-camera that she occasionally doubts her abilities as a mother, I run across an article about mothers who blame themselves for their children's bullying tendencies. The mother in this article, though, bares all the guilt, without any mention of the father whatsoever. Doesn't the masculine role model carry some responsibility?


Blogger angieoh! said...

Is that really blaming themselves? Or is it looking for someone to say "Oh no Madonna, you are a great mother!"

Speaking of which, I was looking for a Mother's Day card and was appalled at the sap. I mean, where is the "Thanks for being a compentent parent. I love you." I don't really think that multiple paragraphs of devotion are believed by mothers (not mine at least!).

What Mother's Day tradition in the Althouse fam?

2:31 PM  
Blogger Ann Althouse said...

Interesting question, Chris. I note that the mother's tendency toward self-blame, like the son's bullying, suggests a family picture in which the father is the bully. Perhaps he blames his wife and she puts up with it, saying yes, I really am at fault, you're right, I'm wrong. In that picture, she essentially enables the father -- and the son. Whoops! She really is to blame.

2:39 PM  
Blogger Meade said...

"Doesn't the masculine role model carry some responsibility?"

In Madonna's case, probably not, as her daughter's father was apparently not much more than Madonna's personal trainer who then became her sperm donor. Now, if he had been Madonna's psychiatrist, he could conceivably bear some responsibility for donating sperm to someone he reasonably should have noticed had serious narcissistic issues.

The 47-year-old singer also admitted that Lourdes - whose father is Madonna's former personal trainer Carlos Leon - often gets frustrated by her mother's fame.

She said: "Sometimes she doesn't want me to come to certain things because she knows everyone is going to pay attention to me and then they'll treat her differently."

4:56 PM  
Blogger Christopher Althouse said...

meade: I like how you just assume that Lourdes can't possibly view Guy Ritchie as her father, or even as "the masculine role model."

5:55 PM  
Blogger Meade said...

Christopher: It's what I do, man. I take my partial knowledge, mix it with limited information and come to faulty assumptions. Then I toss them out as comments on people's blogs and see what I get. Sometimes I get a laugh, sometimes I get yelled at, and sometimes I get gently corrected. It's more fun and interesting to me than TV. Your blog is one of my favorite kinds -- linky, wide ranging, excellent photo montages, highly opinionated and keenly humorous with a diverse readership. Begs for the know-it-all style of commentary like mine don't you think?

By the way, as much as I've always liked Madonna, I still prefer the old one -- the original. I'm sure she had her challenges too, especially during her kid's teen years (hell, we all do!). But, I don't know, she just seemed to have it more together than this modern one does, you know, as a sort of self-effacing unconditional-loving natural... mom. Plus, in my humble opinion, she picked a better behaved sperm donor as "masculine role model" and didn't name her kid anything so pretentious as "Lourdes."

7:22 AM  
Blogger Christopher Althouse said...

meade: "Know-it-all" doesn't bother me, I just care if people are being interesting and substantive. Those are some funny pictures of Carlos Leon, by the way. I wonder if Lourdes will grow up to be beautiful. As for Madonna, she's done stuff throughout her music career that I've loved, but I do prefer her singing voice from the first couple albums. I love that harsh, shrill sound.

6:56 PM  

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